LEGEND OF ZELDA PART 2

Link stood in front of the large door, flabbergasted by the giant eye serving as a locking mechanism. He understood a key, he understood a combo… he was even willing to accept a mouse trap like scenario where he would drop a boulder on a platform to start a domino falling and etc… but this is just ridiculous he thought to himself.
“HEY!... LISTEN!” Navi blared. “This isn’t where we ended the last time we finished playing… plus I told you so about the door… “
“. . .” Link said… this time he was really speechless about what they should do.
“Well… let’s just do that crazy flashback thing… you know… the scene will get all wavy… and some weird noises will play…” Navi explained.
Suddenly, the scene became wavy and some weird noises started to play.
“Yeah, that’s the stuff.” Navi said.
…………………………………………………………..
The vine quickly wrapped around Link’s leg, moving up his body, around his back towards neck. The purple head, source of the vine, snapped and spewed as its prey became entwined in its trap. Link reached for its sword, but his hilt wasn’t at his side. On the ground lay his sword, wrapped in vine, slowly being dragged away from him.
Shit he thought to himself. Link turned towards Navi, knowing that she usually had ideas, even if they weren’t always good.
“Umm… you’re on your own!” She yelped as she flew behind the tree.
The vine tugged and Link was suddenly pulled to the ground, falling on his back. The monster pulled him closer and closer. Stupid Navi he thought. Hiding behind that… that… that’s it. Now only feet away from the monster, Link drew his hookshot and aimed for a branch on the tree. “. . .” Link prayed. The wood splintered as the hook shot into the branch. As quickly as he had been caught, Link was now being pulled up, and away from the drooling creature. The monster let out a piercing screech, but Link now had the upper hand. Surprise was not his forte, but straight up combat suited his style. He dropped to the ground, drew his boomerang and slung it towards the creature, sprinting towards his sword. The monster lost the vine grasping the master sword to the spinning boomerang, but swung another towards Link. Link shoved his shield towards the oncoming appendage, deflecting the attack. The boomerang, now returning, cut another vine from the monster. Letting out another scream, the monster angrily swung its remaining vine downwards towards Link. Link rolled, barely dodging the oncoming vine and picked up his sword in the process.
“HYAAAAA!!!!” Link yelled as he drove his sword through the head of the creature’s gaping mouth. In a puff of dark smoke, the monster disappeared. That’s why they call me the f’ing hero of time he proudly thought. Exhausted, he sat down and took a deep breath, reflecting on what had just transpired.
“HEY!... LISTEN!” Navi stuttered. “Gee… umm… I’m impressed. I didn’t mean to hide. I’m sorry I hid… I’ll be stronger next time… I mean… Thank you.”
All in a days work Link thought, standing up again.
“Who would have thought that such creepy monsters could exist out here. Maybe it has something to do with the SPOOKY FOREST.” Navi commented.
Well duh Link thought. “. . .” he said.
“Yeah. Let’s go.” Navi concurred.
Link took three steps (the Nintendo 3) down the trail and drew his sword, spinning around towards a shady clearing in the trees near the former battlefield. Pointing the master sword out in front of him, his eyes darted back and forth with an intensity that reminded Navi of the fierce fight they had just been involved in. Link relaxed his body and resheathed his sword.
“HEY!” Navi shouted, clearly shaken. “What do you think you’re doing?! I’m already freaking out here! There’s no need to jump at shadows!”
Link turned and began walking again. The two traveled for a while with the sun setting and rising quite a few times within an unusually short time period. Soon, they arrived at a small cottage.
“Link, let’s stop and see what this is.” Navi excitedly proposed.
Link shrugged his shoulders and entered the one room hut. Inside were a lady, a child, and a host of items for sale. It was a shop.
“This is good luck. We can buy some much needed items. I think we’re gonna be alright from here on out. Just let me do the talking… not that you have much of a choice… but I’m an expert bargainer.”
“WAAAAAAA!” The small child groaned. Link shuffled away from the boy, who looked more like a cross between a dinosaur and an elf rather than a human.
The woman tending the actual shop was plump, had gray hair, and wore a plain purple dress. “Welcome strangers. Come see if there is anything you like.”
“Alrighty.” Navi proudly said, cracking her little fairy knuckles. “Let’s see what you’ve got here.”
“We have six items to choose from.” The shopkeeper informed Navi.
“You only have six items?” Navi said disappointedly.
“Yep.” The shopkeeper replied.
“That’s okay, we’ll get some good stuff anyway.” Navi whispered to Link. “Uhh, madam.. how much for that red potion there?”
“500 rupees.” She replied.
Navi choked a little bit. “500 rupees did you say!!! Umm… I think our wallet only holds 99. Does it come with the bottle?”
“No. 500 rupees. You need to provide a magic bottle.”
“What!? One, do a lot of people come in here with a magic bottle of their own? And two, what’s wrong with a regular bottle?” Navi snapped.
“500 rupees. Magic bottle.” The shopkeeper firmly stated again.
“Shit” Navi muttered to Link. “Well, how much for just a heart?” She asked the shopkeeper.
“50 rupees.”
“This shop is insane! You’re insane! Did you know you can get hearts from the bushes and rocks in this world! How can you charge 50 rupees apiece?! There is no market for that kind of pricing! Have you ever taken an economics course! I hope you and your hunchback child starve because of your foolish business choices. Furthermore, you can take your potion and hearts and” Navi said and continued to say with some choice swear words that Link had only heard once before when his grandfather’s parrot became drunk and high simultaneously. It was quite jarring for Link to have to relive that. The scene became wavy and some weird noises played.
………………………………………………………………
“And that’s the story of how I was never again allowed into the Regents Field shop ever again.” Navi proclaimed.
“. . .” Link said.
“Oh yeah… that wasn’t what we were talking about was it? What were we doing before I started this story?” Navi paused. She looked over towards Link, who during the course of the saga had piled all of his bombs against the eyeball locked door.
Link ran over to a large rock and pulled out a bombchu. Lighting it, he sent it off towards the pile of explosives lying up against the door.
“Jeez!” Navi screamed, flying behind the large rock with Link. In a huge blast, all of the bombs went off creating a large puff of smoke and debris. As the view of the door became clear, it was obvious that the bombs had not even made a dent in the barrier.
Link gaped at his failed experiment, wondering what could have gone wrong.
“HEY! Did the door have a crack in it?” Navi asked sarcastically.
Link shook his head no.
“Well there’s your answer, genius.” Navi sneered. “You should know by now that the only way bombs can blow up anything is if they’re already weakened by a crack.”
Link wondered why a bomb could blow up a stone wall with a crack, but would not even scuff a wooden gate… The physics in this world just don’t make sense he thought. I guess I’ll have to find the answer to the eye. Darn… and the bombs were such a good idea…

To be continued…